I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
