I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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