i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
