Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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