Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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