whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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