and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
