I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize