my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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