Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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