why didn't you poke me back
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
