You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
