Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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