She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
