This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
