So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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