when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
