I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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