I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My cat gives me a boner
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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