Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
They have beer where we have blood.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
