I can tuck mytits in my pants
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just want nice things and good sex
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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