yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
