So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
