last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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