I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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