I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
