we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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