come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize