You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
