i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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