literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
