Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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