If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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