shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
