I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize