okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize