I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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