At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize