i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize