woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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