I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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