some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
