Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Say something about gay babies.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
