My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
