I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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