it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize