I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
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The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
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I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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