we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
