Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
