Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Randomize
