Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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