You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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