I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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