It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
