i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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