oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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